Why do java devs wear glasses? They can't C#...
Chuck Norris once took a screenshot of a blue-screen
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A user interface is like a joke.
If you have to explain it, it's not that good!
Algorithm: Word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did.
A person who fixed a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.
Programmer: An organism that turns caffeine and pizza into software.
Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.