Q: Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
A: They’d crack each other up!
Yo momma's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Why do java devs wear glasses? They can't C#...
Chuck Norris once took a screenshot of a blue-screen
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
Yo momma's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma's so fat, it took me two trains, a plane, and a bus to get to her good side.